Amy, it’s Mommie Dearest calling, she wants her raw meat back

Be afraid, be very afraid

This woman is fantastic! And I mean that in the funniest, looniest, perfect-est fodder for jokes and lighthearted ribbing way possible. This is comedy gold, is what it is.

Finally, academia has its very own Sarah Palin! And who better to represent those snobby, intellectual atheists (as Caribou Barbie likes to call ’em) than an aggressively superior Asian woman married to a Jewish guy! Note to Tea Party’ers – they have finally ticked all the boxes. Feel free to include them in your vast and paranoid conspiracy theories. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I am. My apologies if I’ve offended any atheists.)

“Who the hell are you talking about rockmom?” you ask. If you haven’t read or heard about this woman’s article you should. It’s called “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” and it’s written by Amy Chua, Yale law professor, author and mother of two daughters. In the article, Chua reveals what she terms her successful parenting style, which forbids playdates, sleepovers, appearing in school plays, watching TV, playing computer games, getting any grade less than an A and not playing the piano or violin.

Have you considered decaf, Amy? Some smooth jazz? A little foreplay maybe?

Now, one read through this blatantly incendiary column will reveal that Chua’s going out on a limb – way out – because, surprise, surprise, she has a book to sell. And I know, I know – by blogging about her I’m just driving traffic to her Wall Street Journal article and getting her more publicity. Jeez, her one kooky column has received 2,700 comments (!!) and counting!

But before you start gnashing your teeth in indignation at her cruel, heartless ways (I’m sure she has her reasons) and the psychic damage she may or may not be inflicting on her daughters, just consider this:

What’s the real, good reason for this article? It will make you look and feel soooo much better as a mom. So when my daughter is giving me a hard time because she’s the only one of her friends who doesn’t have a cel phone, I can sit her down with good ol’ Amy and say, ‘Sweetie, it could be worse!’

Plus, who would have thought I could sneak Faye Dunaway pics in to a rockmom blog? Oh go on, I can’t resist, just one more for good measure…

No wire hangers ever!

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Posted on January 11, 2011, in parenting, pop culture and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Sheesh…and my mom wasn’t even Asian? Love the pic of Faye though – one of the best horror creations , Freddy and Jason can forget it, she could whip their asses…(with a coathanger).

    • And as I’m looking for Faye jpegs, I come across all those great quotes from the movie. “Don’t f*** with me fellas. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo.” I tried to work that in to the blog but couldn’t finesse it. Classic!

  2. You forgot to mention the part where she calls her daughter “trash” for not perfecting a piano piece! I’ve been forwarded that article by so many people. With some people I can’t decide if it’s because they agree with her or are horrified. I think I’ll go about my business worrying about my daughter’s self esteem and not being to concerned if she gets a A- versus an A.

  3. “Chinese parent assumes it’s because the child didn’t work hard enough. That’s why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it.”

    Wow, yes of course…

  4. I heard the following several times in Taipei — always from Chinese men, and always told somewhat sheepishly, as if the teller were unsure it was really a joke….

    “You’re on a cruise ship with your mother, your wife and your daughter and the ship sinks. You can save only one of your loved ones. Who do you save?”

    Answer: “Your mother. You can marry again. You can father another daughter. But you only will ever have one Mom.”

  5. And if you don’t save your mom, she’ll have your a**! In this life or the next! 🙂

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