By now you may have read, heard and/or seen the latest Lady Gaga video, ‘Telephone’, starring Lady Gaga, Beyonce, various female prison skanks and a couple of transvestites.

You know, this used to be a helluva good country.

I’ve seen the uncut as well as the edited versions (pixilated thongs = Asians aren’t allowed to see butt cheeks!), and I have to say I felt embarrassed. It’s the same feeling as when I first watched Eddie Murphy’s “Raw” back in high school. I was home by myself, worried my Dad would walk through the door; I was blushing and laughing and thinking, “Can he really say that on TV?”

But that was the early days of cable. Now you’ve got Lady Gaga shaking her scrawny nekkidness all over YouTube for all to see.

So should I be worried my daughters might see this? What is Lady Gaga trying to say anyway, and does it have anything to do with girl power?

I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace.

Thankfully, music videos – unless they involve a Jonas brother – aren’t on my girls’ radar yet. They enjoy Miley, Selena, Demi and especially “Grease” though they haven’t figured out all of the lyrics to ‘Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee’. Whew.

And you know I never thought I’d use the words ‘classy’ and ‘Madonna’ in the same sentence, but LG could certainly learn a thing or two from Madge about how to craft a video.

Madonna’s video oeuvre borrows from artists like film director Fritz Lang and movie icon Marilyn Monroe, and she’s got enough religious imagery in her vids to fill a Catholic school. What influences do we see in ‘Telephone’? Why that would be Quentin Tarantino (often hailed as a feminist director – NOT), bimbo photographer David LaChapelle and… porn movies.

But it’s not the silly Tarantino references, the Natural Born Killers scenario and such. What’s troubling to me is this neo-feminist attitude that, if I choose to take off my clothes – if it’s my choice, however dubious – then I’m asserting my girl power and taking control of my sexuality.

Beyonce, grab your baton, the marching band is waiting!

On a hippie commune or the beaches of St Tropez, maybe. But in the real world, it still comes down to guys oogling your tits. Let’s be honest here, Lady Gaga. You can talk all you want about girl power and close your video with a feminist symbol, but once you shake your bare ass at the camera you’re no different than Pamela Anderson or any other Playmate of the month. You’re a product. Just like the blatant product placements in your video.

I’m so sick and tired of (female) entertainers trading in this porn commodity and calling it liberating. Wake up young women! Tell us what it’s really all about: selling music and selling yourself! Anything else is just so much self-deluded bullsh*t!

Lady Gaga might be hailed as a new pop icon, but her latest video shows she’s really just a skank with a canny agenda.

FYI: photo captions 1 and 2 are from Easy Rider.